The air is crisp, days are growing shorter, and the leaves are turning brilliant bright colors and falling from the trees. Autumn is here, and the energy of “letting go” is at its peak, creating the space for something new to emerge.

Good emotional health follows this same cycle. When we are emotionally wounded, healing is facilitated and expedited when we consciously choose to allow the pain in its fullness and then let it go. In this act of acceptance and release we create the circumstance for something new to emerge in our lives. With each letting go there is growth. Alternatively, if we hold to our emotional wounds – whether it be pining for a former partner, chastising ourselves over a failed project, or any myriad other ways in which we cling to the past – we become bound in a cycle of emotional suffering.

Taking responsibility for our happiness is a sign of true maturity but it is not easy. In fact most people choose to remain victims whether of other people, events, even their own pain. It is far more courageous to acknowledge our pain and to release it rather than engage the blame game or attitude of the “poor me.” Healing our lives starts with taking responsibility for our suffering, as the great Sufi poet Rumi wrote, “Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you.”